Click here for the Bricolage Bibliothèque Resource Center
Click here for the introduction to Bricolage Bibliothèque
Even Americans who have not watched much television are probably vaguely familiar with a certain hefty figure—a UPS driver with formidable appetites—who came to be known as the King of Queens. You might think you know where this post is going, but, well, you don't. I am not much interested in the show, and was just zapping through channels aimlessly the other night (I am on the road and the hotel channel-changer was relentless) when I saw the following scene. Thank heavens and the Internet for YouTube. Here is an entire episode, but all that you need takes place in forty-five seconds between 17:45 and 18:30. Check it out.
O.k., now we're talkin'. Have you ever tried to ride without a bike seat? "Unpleasant" doesn't even begin to express it. Even to approximate it, we would have to look for new terms such a "road proctology" and "Chevrolet Impal...in'." I do a great deal of cycling, and it feels good to sit back on the ol' polyurethane and pedal from a position of strength and comfort. I pretty much take it for granted these days.
In fact, bike seat technology has made enormous strides in the last few decades, and the best companies have created perfect, light, and anatomically resonant behind-receptacles that would make me blush if I thought about it too much. Like Japanese bathroom technology, so much advanced scientific work has gone into their creation that it feels mildly obscene to explain it all. Today's advanced bike seat is a thing of beauty, though. I find the best of them so extraordinary that I even have an elegant Selle Italia racing seat sitting on my bookshelf next to my writing desk like as a work of art.
O.k., that's just me.
Kevin James's character has a problem, though. Someone stole his bike seat. The next scene is the very point of this new series on Round and Square called "Bricolage Bibliothèque," or, maybe, the jack-of-all-trades library. It deals with the way that people fashion solutions from nature and culture in the face of technical challenges.
Here is our challenge today, though, and it requires using the underused Round and Square "comment" section if you are to contribute. Don't be shy. Imagine the following challenge. It is not hard to do if you have looked at 18:05 of the King of Queens episode:
You return to your bike and find the seat stolen. Let's say that you have
five or more miles until you are "home." You will pay like the devil in your
nether regions if you do nothing. How will you "fashion" a bike seat from
the world of material around you?
Go ahead and imagine your situation any way you want. You could be, like Kevin James, outside a store (perhaps with a Staples or Office Max nearby—don't begrudge this suggestion). On the other hand, you might be pedaling through the Mongolian countryside, with only rocks and yak horns (such as there are) in your midst. Get creative. Use your abilities with bricolage to create a bike seat comfortable enough to get you home.
I have my own ideas, but it is your turn. I laughed out loud when I saw the sandwich going on the seat post in the King of Queens episode. That is one of the best moments in the history of television, from my perspective, and I just saw it a few minutes ago. Now it is your turn to run with it. How would you make a bike seat with enough je ne sais quoi to get you home in one "peace?"
I will be waiting by the comment section. Fashion yourself a bike seat, fasten it to the seat tube, and write a comment. I'll pick a winner on August 1st. The winner gets a copy of the new Penguin Classics version of Claude Lévi-Strauss's classic Tristes Tropiques—a muse...of sorts...from the most articulate voice of bricolage in history. It is a great read (one of the best books ever written). It could serve as a makeshift bike seat in a pinch, too.
